DOWN YONDER

Down Yonder

by Gary Wright

“. . . when the folks get the news

don’t worry ‘bout the hullaballoo.” — Del Woods

Southern speak is that original smorgasbord of words — some made up —  body gestures, facial expressions, and a dash of intuition that makes the culture of Dixie not only come alive, but sometimes makes you ‘wanna slap yo Mama. Sometimes, you don’t get it until you fully understand, then you really begin to wonder what was just said.

‘Puttin’ up tomatoes’ is not technically putting them anywhere. It refers to the canning process where canned tomatoes are placed on a shelf (not in the fridge) and there’s no worry about them going bad until they’re eaten.

Likewise, ‘let me spell you for a bit’ has absolutely nothing to do with a spelling bee or any other bee in a bonnet. It means that I’ll take over and give you a break.

‘Crazy as all get out.’ ‘All get out’ refers to an unimaginably huge amount. This ‘get out’ is far different from ‘get out’ of town or even ‘get out of here.’ One often needs a play book to talk to Southerners; and a different one when you travel more than ten miles. ‘You ought to see her cut a rug’ has nothing to do with her ability with scissors and a carpet; rather, with her ability to dance. Her dancing is so acute and intense that there is danger that she could dance a hole in the rug.

‘He used to call her Sally Goodin,’ refers to the central figure in a popular, old country music song by Woody Guthrie, the darling of Southern folk singing. Sally Goodin was the apple of the eye of the one who is singing the song for whom the singer would do crazy things.

‘Sittin’ there like a bump on a log doin’ nuthin.’ One can watch a bump on a log until the ‘cows come home’ and it won’t ever move or do anything. Pretty much a reference to someone lazy and likely to stay that way.

‘Don’t buy a pig in a poke’ is a warning not to buy something in a bag (poke) without checking it out thoroughly. Similar to the Latin caveat emptor (buyer beware), it means that you should be certain that what you is gettin’ is what you is wantin.’

Granny was so old she used to say, “Everbody I knowed is dead.” She was inferring that all the people she grew up with are now deceased because she has basically outlived her peers.

‘To shed some light’ on a particular subject is an idiom meaning to enlighten one on the subject, or, making something more visible by shining a bright light on it. That’s Southern speak for “I’m a politician and I’m here to pull the wool over your eyes.”

A ‘plug nickel’ comes from nickels which would sometimes have a center part removed (plugged,) thus, with less material it was worth less. People would remove a small amount from a coin ‘a plug’ and accumulate these plugs and sell them, then pass off the ‘plugged’ coin to unsuspecting recipients.

A ‘red cent’ originated from the early days of coin operated machines such as candy machines, early viewing devices (similar to nickelodeons) and later, juke boxes, where the owner would place such devices in certain bars or restaurants and give the establishment pennies painted red to play songs at certain times in order to entice others to likewise spend their money. The coins were painted so that the owner could determine what was planted money and what was profit.

‘I’ll jerk a knot in yo hind end that Oral Roberts cain’t take’ out was a homey idiom used by grandparents or parents in the 50s and 60s to get their kids to mind them. Oral Roberts was a televangelist who claimed Jesus would heal through the TV. If you’d maimed your kids so badly that even a prestigious healing minister couldn’t heal them, then you had an especially bad problem. (Roberts’ fundraising was controversial. In January 1987, during a fundraising drive, Roberts announced to a television audience that unless he raised $8 million by that March, God would “call him home.” When in March he was short of his goal, he changed the goal to “by the end of the year.” Late in March 1987 while Roberts was fasting and praying, fearful that Roberts might take his own life, Florida dog track owner Jerry Collins donated $1.3 million to put him over his goal. Roberts’ money-raising tactics worked but I’m not certain about his knot un-tying.)

‘Y’all is so messed up, yore startin’ to resemble a soup san’wich.’ This literally makes no sense but it’s so cute that most people like to hear it said about something that is inextricably screwed up. Try it in one of your conversations and see if there aren’t some raised eyebrows, especially if you’re up north.

‘She’s so Southern she’s only related to her own self.’ Southern folk are quite persnickety about to whom they claim relation. Sometimes, they are so narcissistic that they claim only themselves as relations.

‘Don’t go gittin’ above yore raisin.’ Don’t start putting on airs and trying to act like you’re better than you are. Sort of related to the Hindu belief that you are born to a station in life and cannot rise above it. Many of the hill folks of olden times had an inferiority complex and believed that they were inferior to the flat-landers and there wuz nuthin’ they could do about it — except gripe! And, we all know that superb griping, whining, and sniveling heals all.

‘If promises were persimmons, the ‘possums could eat well at her place.’ ‘Possums love to eat good, ripe persimmons, so anything disguised as a persimmon is bound to attract ‘possums.

The ‘Her’ refers to one who is big on commitments but duly lacking in fulfilling said commitments.

‘Down the road a piece’ — a short distance; ‘Down the road a fur piece’— a long distance. ‘Down the road a shur nuff fur piece’ — could be we’re talking about a trip to Red China.

‘Pot likker’ is the juice left over from the prolonged simmering of vegetables such as peas, beans, and especially greens (mustard, collards, turnip, etc.) It’s used as a soup or mixed with corn pone or Johnny cakes and baked or fried into a patty. The word ‘likker’ refers to alcoholic liquor in that it is the essence of the original parts. Many think such a concoction is larrupin delish.

‘Act like you got some raisin!’’ An admonition to act as you have been taught, usually said by a parent to a child to disavow parental responsibility when the child misbehaves.

Remember, act like you’ve got raisin’ but don’t ever get above your raisin.’